A Letter From Your Bathroom

I bet you never saw this coming. Don’t worry, neither did I. You’ve never given me much attention before and honestly, I’m not sure what to do with it. I figured it was time we had a chat. But first, how do I look? You should get me new towels or something. Fresh flowers at least? The Trader Joes eucalyptus is getting dry.

You’ve been spending more time here over the past few weeks and I’m beginning to wonder why. You don’t seem sick, which is usually the only reason I see you for more than ten minutes at a time. No, these visits have been somewhat pleasant, unlike some of the other memories we’ve shared. Remember the food poisoning? Who knew burritos packed such a punch. And on top of it, the margaritas? Thank goodness it was just you who made terrible decisions that night, imagine if the hubby had been here too? There’s only one of me here, people.

Speaking of your husband, I’ve been seeing a lot of him recently too. Are you two alright? Trouble in paradise? I didn’t hear any yelling but lately it feels like you’re using me to escape one another and it’s putting me in a difficult position. You know I don’t like being in the middle of these things. The good news is, his visits are largely made up of playing Candy Crush or watching Facebook videos on his phone, that is until you shout outside the door asking if he’s ok. What? You think I’d let him fall in or something? He’s fine, just needed some alone time.  

I must say though, I prefer your version of alone time over his. Those baths you’ve been taking? Incredible. The lavender bath bombs are a nice touch. I was beginning to wonder when you’d use those. Do you feel as silky as the tub does when you’re done? And that candle you’ve been burning takes me on the tropical vacation I’ve never had. Really, take as long as you need in here because I am loving it.

So is your skin, by the way. You’ve never looked better. I did worry for a minute when you drastically cut back on your hour of morning prep time but the change in routine is really working for you. Also, is it the holidays already? I didn’t think so but the counter is feeling a little crowded with all these new bottles and you keep adding more. I thought your birthday was weeks ago – the cake smelled delicious by the way. Maybe these are late gifts? Or maybe you’re just treating yourself these days. You go, girl! Be careful, though, you know how someone gets about budgeting. *Wink wink*

Anyhow, I haven’t had a chance to totally acquaint myself with the new members of the counter yet but whatever they are, you look fantastic. There’s a glow to you these days. A dewiness. It looks like you steamed me up and opened those pores! I won’t lie, I thought there was a baby on the way for a moment (don’t think I haven’t noticed the excess of a certain kind of wrapper in the trash) but you haven’t been “worshipping the porcelain god” every morning, shall we say, so I figure we’re in the clear. I’ll credit the newfound radiance to the magic bottles, for now.

I’m not sure how much longer this quality time will last but I must say, it’s been delightful so far. I hope you’re having a nice day with the living room and I’ll see you around 9:00pm for the nightly soak.

Love, your bathroom

P.S. If you’re going to wash your hands this many times a day, you need to invest in more hand cream. The poor thing is running very low.